Showing posts with label sucking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sucking. Show all posts

Monday, December 8, 2008

Chris Duhon has a penis shaped nose


This NBA season has been a weird one. A lot of disappointments around the league but the biggest has to be the sad slow skid the Pistons are on since the Iverson/Billups trade. Why is T-Prince bringing up the ball? Why is Rip shooting like the ball is made out of a hardened, shellacked turd? Last night they lost to the Knicks and worst of all they let Chris Duhon pick them apart for 48 minutes. Chris Duhon is terrible. Last spring, when he left the Bulls I didn't think he'd play in America again. I assumed he'd be in Russia, or the Philippines, or some place where prostitution is legal and the drinks are cheap. The last two years in Chicago he was a benchwarmer who played unreliably. He seemed more excited about giving lap dances at bachelorette parties than running the point. But now in New York he's tearing it up playing in their fast-paced slop-ball style. Pffftttt.... totally... pfffttt.... 

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Updating blogs suck and I'm no good at it.

Today is my birthday. I am 34. When I was 14 I imagined myself as becoming a pretty awesome 24 year old. I thought I'd probably own a cool car and live in a house full of cool stuff like that house on Silver Spoons with a pinball machine and a huge model choo choo train I could ride from my living room to dining room. But teenage dreams fade and when I was 24 I could barely afford a burrito so I postponed my dreamlife until I was 34 and well now... shit. The least I can do is update this blog and post this photoshop collage I made as a personal celebration for myself. I'm going to try a number of self improvements in my 34th year, like eating less bacon, remembering to take off my glasses before I get into the shower and calling my Mom more than once every two months. Another thing I'm going to do is update this blog. Wtf, right?Totally. There are hundreds of thousands of dead blogs on blogger perhaps even thousands of millions. Rather than letting this one die a pathetic, slow motion death I'm going to dedicate myself to updating it on occation. I'm sure you are all excited about this as I am, right? Like Jay Z said, 30 is the new 20 and I guess conversely 34 is the new 24.